Living Backwards

As we are in the middle of the Covid-19 crisis my thoughts and probably yours revolve around family and friends. The Stay at Home requirement can become stressful. It can be a very sad time if you lose someone close to you. Well, that’s what happened to me and my family. My Father-in-Law died suddenly.

I’m writing this BLOG about him and dedicating it to all of you my friends who have lost a love one or a close friend. As firefighters we have many friends that we trust so much that we often consider them family. That’s why we call it the “Fire Family.”

My Father-in-Laws name is Bill Collier. He was a 21 year veteran of the Los Angeles Fire Department. He spent most of his career in the Harbor Area. He became an Auto Fireman (As you know, no longer a rank) and stayed there. He was really a meat and potatoes guy. He was very proud of being a member of the LAFD. He often reminded me how much bigger the LAFD was than my SMFD.  However, he was always ready to tell everyone he met that I became a fire chief. He often told me how proud he was of me. And since he was my idol that made me very happy. However, he also told me that I would never out rank him.

I had to speak at Bills funeral. I had a hard time getting through it. As I was organizing my thoughts about Bill, I thought “if I die tomorrow, what would people say about me?” What about you? Would their comments make you proud of the way you lived your life and the choices you made?

There’s an old saying: “if you want to know how to live your life, think about what you’d like people to say about you after you die… and live backwards.

Thinking about the legacy we want to leave behind can help us keep our priorities straight. When the end is near, it’s not likely any of us will say, I wish I spent more time working.” Unfortunately, many of us only begin to realize the value of time we have after we’ve frittered much of it away in shallow ruts going nowhere important.

It’s hard to think now what will matter later. But doing so can dramatically, improve our chances of living a full and meaningful life with full regrets.

Knowing how we want to be remembered also allows us to make a strategic plan for our lives. How much wiser would our choices be if we had the wisdom and discipline to regularly ask ourselves whether all the things we do and say are taking us where we want to be at the end?