DEAL OR NO DEAL

I was at the gym one day riding the stationary bike when a firefighter friend of mine came up to me and said “what is wrong with the generation today.”  I had two immediate thoughts, First thought was “this is going to be interesting”, and second, I like it when someone talks to me while riding the exercise bike because it makes the time go by faster.

Being aware that I teach, and have written many articles about ethics and character he started telling me about Jennifer.  Jennifer’s mom agreed to let her go to a party if she promised to be home by midnight. But as the Cinderella hour approached, the 16-year-old did a quick risk/reward calculation.

She knew her mom would be angry and probably ground her, but she was having so much fun she decided it was worth it. Sure enough, when she got home at 2:00 a.m., her mom was waiting for her, enraged that Jennifer had violated her promise but relieved she was safe.

“Breaking your word was bad enough,” her mom said, “but how could you be so cruel and selfish not call and say you were safe? I was worried sick.”

Jennifer concluded her evening of bad choices with another: “You forced me into agreeing. The curfew was unfair. As to your worrying, that was your choice. I was perfectly safe. Just tell me the punishment and let me go to bed.”

We decided that Jennifer’s first mistake was to think she had a right to break her promise because she was “forced” into it. Mom’s proposition was “Deal or no Deal?” Jennifer made a deal, and like it or not, she was morally bound to keep her word.

Her second mistake was to think she could buy off the moral duty to keep her promise simply by accepting punishment. Her mom’s trust wasn’t mended because Jennifer paid a penalty. Ultimately, the issue wasn’t about curfews and parties; it was about trust and credibility. Her lack of remorse and accountability only made things worse, critically damaging her relationship with her mom.

Her third mistake was to think she wasn’t responsible, despite her refusal to accept responsibility for inflicting mental anguish on her mom. She was responsible. If she bothered to think about it, Jennifer knew her conduct would cause gut-wrenching worry, every bit as painful as a punch to the stomach. A person is ethically accountable for the predictable consequences of his or her actions.

In a nutshell, Jennifer didn’t act with character. She was untrustworthy, irresponsible, disrespectful, and unkind. It will take her a long time to build the healthy bonds of trust that both she and her mom want and need.

As we continued our discussion along with solving the problems of the world (even with no alcohol) our conversation turned to, of course, Firefighters and ethical behavior. We both agreed that if there is one profession that is considered trustworthy it is firefighters. As a matter of fact, not too long ago I read an article in the Harvard Business Law Review indicated that in all the professions in the world of work firefighters were considered to be the most trusted and respected profession. You probably can imagine where politicians ranked?

This public trust of firefighters is corroborated during a fire. When we go to a fire in an apartment house it is often necessary to go to the apartment next to the one on fire and check for fire exposure. If the occupant is home we ask if we can check the apartment for exposure. Of course, we are let in. It is interesting how much the occupant trusts us because when we go through the apartment the occupant doesn’t follow us. We agreed that that trust must never be violated.

We also discussed the attitude of some firefighters and the promises that were made during their hiring interviews. This is where the “Deal or No Deal” re-enters the conversation.

During my career I have personally been involved in over 1,000 hiring and promotional interviews. Every candidate promised and made a deal that they would be the very best firefighter they could be. They promised to work hard every day, be a person of character, be honest, courteous to the customer and each other, obey the organization rules and regulations, work hard to improve themselves, never be lazy or bad mouth the leadership of the organization, etc, etc.

We were curious what percentage firefighters keep that deal. What are your thoughts?

I was on the bike now for 45 minutes and decided that I had enough exercise and conversation. However, I decided that exercise bike conversations could be good material for my credit union BLOG.

Stay Safe

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